Wisdom is justified by her deeds

We got back from La Ronge today. Our house smelled like sewer and later we found out that actually the sewer had backed up in the one day we were gone. The cool thing was that we weren't even really bothered by that. We found out it would be fixed on Monday. One of the reasons is that we came back so filled and overflowing with gratitude for really good times with good friends. 

We spent some time with Jody, who we met when I was doing my teaching internship up here. She is so real, so loving, and also hilarious. We practiced hearing Gods voice with her, her dad, sister, and our friend Sheldon. There were some really accurate words and really encouraging moments. As we shared about difficulties we laughed at how they were overcome in different ways, and we knew we weren't alone. We ended up staying up till past midnight just catching up, praying for each other, and sharing our hearts. Nights like that are so refreshing and filling. 

Jody's sister Kim has had a pretty difficult year, but she just took responsibility and worked really hard to be a good teacher in a tough situation. The thing that stuck with me the most is that she really care about her students that weren't coming to school and started praying for them most days to be able to make it. It was amazing, she said that the days she prayed they almost always were able to make it and the days she didn't they often didn't come. Just taking that time and intentionality to pray for her students in that way encouraged me a lot to do that as well. So many of my students don't show up and then they miss out on a lot of things and it also tough to go forward for the rest of us as well. 

In the morning they made a great breakfast,  and then we went shopping. For lunch we made it to the Prokopchuks. They are a family who are so close to our hearts. They have been so good and kind to us. They gave us fishing rods to start out our fishing up here. They always welcome us over with delicious meal. We play games, but we also have really good conversations about God and what it looks like to follow him. What it looks like to show hospitality to others. They are a pretty bold family that has lived in Saudi, Alaska, the US, and Northern Saskatchewan. They are one of the families I know that just loves to spend time together and they really care about each other and those around them too. I was so encouraged leaving their place just with a sense of fullness and love. I love all the esoteric ideas about what goodness and love are, but even more substantial is actually receiving a home cooked meal and sharing your hearts and lives with people you care about. 

Jesus came to earth and lived in a physical body. He lived a physical life, ate, drank, and did all that we do. He was without sin, but he was filled with humanity. It's easy to forget how important his incarnation is to our lives. He became one with us so that we could be one with him. He had close friends and wept when they died. I love when Gods love becomes real actions. Just the other day I was reading the bible in the morning before going to school and I came upon the verse Matthew 11:18

Wisdom is justified by her deeds. 

I know as any good Protestant does that we are justified by faith, not by works. But sometimes I think we would do well to remember the admonition and encouragement of James "Faith without works is dead". Real love, and real Christlikeness is shown by real deeds. It fills the heart to overflowing. We were so blessed by our friends this weekend and we want to share that with others too. 

That sweet radiance

One of my favourite promises in the bible is "seek and you will find"

It gives me hope that my efforts and searching will not be in vain. I especially like that when we seek God he promises we will find him. Probably because he is already in us ;). 

This last week there has been a lot of seeking on my part. I am getting to know my students better and building some great relationships. Then some days come where nothing goes right and there is a lot of defiance, apathy, and I feel totally ineffective as a teacher. That happened last Friday. This week I bought a book from two researchers who visited 17,000 classrooms and did extensive research about what causes the most authentic student engagement. It was fascinating and so helpful. I also found a website about classroom management and just devoured every article and put everything into practice that I could. I feel a lot more hope and confidence now. Things are still tough at times. We had to cancel a couple days because the weather got to be more than minus 40C! But, I felt it was like a little gift from God to give me more time to seek and find the answers in my heart. I felt him guiding me. 

The other big event coming up is that Jetaime will leave for 3 weeks to celebrate Chinese New Year in Malaysia. This is the longest we will have been apart since we were married. I mean before we were married we would be apart for like 7 months at a time. But things have changed now that we spend everyday together. We have become closer than I would have ever expected. Jetaime is such a sweetheart, so thoughtful, so funny, and so surprising. We still have some big fights and hurt each other, but they are fewer and fewer each month. I feel like we are finally beginning to really understand each other and love each other regardless of all the faults. So it's a tough time to say goodbye. I am so excited for her to see her family and friends and to be back home where she hasn't been for a long time. I'm also excited to be able to really pour tons of hours into tasks like I did when I was single. Learning Chinese, reading books, running, biking, or even finishing tv seasons! Haha, but those little benefits don't compare with what will be leaving. 

So I guess the thing that I am seeking in all of this is to see what God has for us in this time. It is a unique moment in our marriage and I want to make the most of these moments. I read this quote from Tim Keller that was really encouraging

“It’s remarkable that in all of his writings Paul’s prayers for his friends contain no appeals for changes in their circumstances.” Tim Keller

Haha, that's a really good point Tim! I think he hit the nail on the head. Paul realizes that it is not the outward world that needs to conform to our inward desires, but that when our hearts are caught up in God that every storm becomes stilled in us. All of our hopes for safety, comfort, and things to go right are actually sometimes idols. They are good desires, but there are even better desires. To be moulded into the likeness of Christ! To be one with Him! What can compare with that? What can separate us from His love? Nothing in all creation! 

In the last few weeks Ive spent some really sweet time in Gods presence and then later when I am trying to fulfill the desires of my heart in all of the other things I am used to like news articles and tv shows and podcasts nothing satisfies at all like God does. I just have this restless yearning for something better than everything the world has on offer. I want that sweet radiance of Gods presence. I'm not some super saint. I'm actually pretty lazy and don't get what's important most of the time. But then when I spend time with God its like all my values get recalibrate to what's really true, noble, and worthwhile. I become what I could never be in my own efforts. 

Free. 

Those who look to the Lord are radiant, 

There faces are never covered with shame. 

Psalm 34:5

Life is but a breath

In one week we will begin Christmas holidays! 

This year has been filled with so much. At times it has gone by so slowly, and at others it seems to have sped by. We are studying the Ancient Greeks in social studies right now. The stoics are my favourite and so we are getting into what they believed and how some of their philosophies can help us today. One theme is the shortness of life and how the things we spend so much energy worrying about and focusing on we absolutely wouldn't spend much time on if we realized how short life is. It always reminds me of the hilarious scene in Bill and Teds most excellent adventure when they go back in time to the Greek philosophers and begin quoting the lyrics to Kansas' "Dust in the Wind". We are here only for a moment and the moment's gone. 

Thinking about how short life is myself has helped my teaching practice. At the beginning of the year I put a huge amount of attention and focus into trying to stamp out cell phone usage. It was really frustrating and difficult and the students were attached to them almost like an umbilical cord. Now I started to just put my focus on the students who are interested in learning and paying attention and the whole environment started to change. The students who were distracted by cell phones from time to time see all the fun that the engaged students are having and join in, they also don't feel as harassed all the time by me and a bit more of a friendship is forming. It seems more like a win win for everyone. I still feel like a failure at times because not everyone is engaged and involved 100% of the time, but there is a lot more authentic engagement now than there was before. 

As we talk to friends with kids we also realize that our time is even shorter while we remain without kids and we won't be able to relax together most evenings and watch tv shows or movies or take lots of time to talk through things. So I think we have started to treasure these things more while we still have them. 

The prayer of Moses in the 90th Psalm is "Teach me to number my days that I may gain a heart of wisdom". I think there are few things as closely related to growing wisdom as learning the value, transience, and preciousness of each moment. 

Why I run

This week I got a really fun app called "Zombies, Run". Basically it includes a bunch of different narrative storylines where you are a runner who stumbles onto a base in the midst of the zombie apocalypse and to earn your keep you become a runner for them. You run to nearby communities and scavenge all the food and supplies you can find. The fun part of the app is that it measures your speed and every once in awhile you get close to a zombie and need to run 20% faster for a bit. It is ridiculously exciting and slightly dangerous too. The other morning I was running back from school and there was sheer ice from a recent melting and then freezing, my shoe had become untied, and there was no way that I could stop running or slow down to tie my shoe because zombies were chasing me. I got back home so out of breath and laughing in delight because I had made it safely. 

When you run you can be doing two things: running away from something or towards something. 

What I'm running away from

I want to run away from the lazy person that I sometimes am. I want to run from the belief that I can never accomplish anything difficult or interesting and that I'll never be good enough. I naturally like to take the easy way out and the interesting thing I found is that running can actually be the easy way out. It saves money on gas, it lengthens my lifespan, it lowers my risk factors for a whole swathe of diseases, it gives me great endorphins, it gives me more confidence, and it gives me time to meditate and think so that I am more prepared for the problems of the rest of my life. A little bit of difficulty of running makes my life much easier. 

What I am running towards

I run towards my future. Physically I often run towards home and my work and metaphorically too. I can think clearer when I run and so I am running towards solutions. I studied running form a lot and I found that the very best way to run is to run easy, light, and fast. Basically running as silently as you can naturally gives you good running form because you aren't hitting the ground so hard anymore. In  the summer I run barefoot and one time I was able to completely sneak up on a cat and get within a foot of her. When she turned and saw me it was like a cartoon how her legs went in all different directions and she scooted off faster than I believed possible. I think that's true of life too. We can get where we want to go a lot quicker if we're not stomping so hard to be heard and we are willing to do what's important regardless of whether we are noticed or not. 

I run because it's the closest thing I've found to human flight. When I lose myself in the rythm of my steps and the air through my hair and the world speeding by its almost as if I can fly. That's why I love running in sandals or barefoot with no extra clothing. Your senses come alive and it's like you can feel the world more fully. You can only hear the wind and the gentle tap tap of your footfalls. Running while its snowing is even more peaceful and surreal. The snow muffles almost all the sound and you are for once perfectly by yourself in the world. Able to think without any distractions and exist in the real world with the pure physicality of snowflakes hitting your face and icicles forming on your beard. There are few things that compare. 

I run most of all because it is fun. One of my heroes barefoot Ted talks about the idea of "golden miles". Those miles where you just enjoy every second of running them. They are what makes it all worth it. It is not always so enjoyable, but those few golden miles make all the rest of the miles worth it. 

That's why I run. 

What things make life richer?

How then should we live?

I remember reading that title of a book a lot as a kid. It had a prominent place in my parents collection of books in our basement where we used to play. It seemed mysterious because most books had a title that gave a definitive answer to some problem. This was one of the few books that just asked a good question. 

I've been finishing up my unit planning and it is really interesting how that actually has made me think a lot about what is actually of importance in life. I get to choose how my class will use hundreds and hundreds of hours of their time. I honestly really love school, especially university, but it wasn't always that way. I often thought school was fairly boring and there were huge amounts of time when there wasn't much to do. If I get to lead the class in what we will do, then the deeper question is what then shall we do? Of what types of activities have the kind of importance that they can depeen and enrich my students lives? On top of that, how can I make those types of activities relevant enough that my students will enjoy them, engage in them, and let down their guards enough so that they can have their life changed? In light of all this the question running through my head is now 

How then should I teach?

Lesson planning is at its center entirely philosophical. I find that I'm constantly challenging a lot of the assumptions that I grew up with about education, I'm challenging the assumptions about what I learned about education in University, and then I'm challenging my own conclusions! Haha, and then the worst of it is that when it comes down to actually teaching I generally just do exactly whatever my high schools teachers did with me. I'm slowly working on it, but a lot of the practices that they did were there for pretty good reasons. It reminds me of Chesterton talking about young radicals who want to tear down the old order and just set everything free. 

In the matter of reforming things, as distinct from deforming them, there is one plain and simple principle; a principle which will probably be called a paradox. There exists in such a case a certain institution or law; let us say, for the sake of simplicity, a fence or gate erected across a road. The more modern type of reformer goes gaily up to it and says, “I don’t see the use of this; let us clear it away.” To which the more intelligent type of reformer will do well to answer: “If you don’t see the use of it, I certainly won’t let you clear it away. Go away and think. Then, when you can come back and tell me that you do see the use of it, I may allow you to destroy it.

I laugh at my own enthusiasm to do away with all sorts of things that were a staple of education in the past. Some of the things like homework, and worksheets have been shown to have extremely little value until students are much older. Other things like sitting in rows, waiting until the class is silent and so on, I have found to be very helpful and I brought them back after thinking they were outdated as well. Another thing that many have tried to do away with is rote memory. We want students to just explore ideas and not worry so much about trying to memorize specific facts. However I think most of that thinking comes from people who have gotten so good at memorizing naturally that they forget it is a learned skill. 

I remember in grade 3 I was in the Sunday school class of a man named John Tyler. He was an engineer and a great guy. He had us write down in our bibles "what is not memorized, cannot be utilized". Haha, it is a very engineer type thing to say. But I remember reading that quote over and over again growing up. It was probably one of the reasons I joined bible quizzing in grade 7 and ended up memorizing whole books of the bible. Being able to memorize well helped me a lot with school and life in general. It is a lot easier to learn to play instruments when you can memorize the notes on a scale and on a fretboard. It is easier to pick up a new language when you know how to learn vocabulary. It prepared me for an interesting life. 

Now that I am a teacher I put that quote up on the back wall of our classroom. I try to make lots of time for my class to memorize the multiplication table, key points in history simply for them to have something to compare other dates to, we are going to start to memorize a couple shorter poems too. If they ask "what are we going to use this for?" I can give them a lifetime of examples of the cool different ways that memorization helped make my life easier and more full. I think out of all things people might want to get rid of in the education system it should be the last to go. 

How to motivate students and people in general

Tonight I came home curious. 

I had a pretty fun day in the classroom and lots of learning happened. But when it came to plain old work, doing projects that they weren't too excited about, there was no motivation almost at all and everything became a distraction and almost nothing got done. So I got to thinking because as usual as a new teacher I was in above my head and not sure what to do. A wasted half hour isn't a big deal in the grand scheme of the Universe especially because we were having fun and chatting about all sorts of things. But it got me thinking, as the year progresses, how can I motivate my class to do the hard work of learning?

I have been falling in love with podcasts recently, especially with a bunch of 9 hour drives each way back and forth from Regina. So the first place I looked was for a good teaching podcast that might have some good advice. I found "The cult of Pedagogy" and listened to episode 37 about how to motivate your students. She had 5 main questions to ask yourself about areas that can really increase student motivation. Here are the notes I took. 

Motivation 

1. Good relationships provide safety for students to take risks. Lack of connection makes them less likely to try. Be aware of the value of relationships. Take active steps to get to know them. "You've got to connect" book and "the best kept teaching secret" about dialogue journals. Just chat two minutes a week with each student about something other than school. Keep track of it. 

2. How much choice do your students actually have? Providing choice is a major factor in motivation. Long term authentic creative projects are a lot easier to give choice in. 

3. Are you relying heavily on carrots and sticks? Rewards and punishments to motivate students. Extrinsic reinforcement can be motivating for an easy task, but for tasks that require creativity and complex thought it actually reduces motivation. Vs trying it just because it is interesting and challenging. We need to truly, deeply motivate them. Try to focus on its inherent interest and value as a challenge. "The first ten are easy and I want to see how many of you can conquer the challenge of the last two. They are a lot tougher. They will be challenge but I believe you have what it takes."

4. Do your words contribute to a growth or fixed mindset? Students are motivated to continue at a challenging task if they believe they can get better at it. Don't ever tell them they are smart. Tell them specific moments they've worked hard. Focus on things they can control. Don't tell them they are a good writer.

5. What are you doing to make your content relevant to students lives? When they believe they are doing something authentic and meaningful and how it can help them they will be more motivated. 1. Plan it and then say it, explain why an issue is relevant today. Be explicit. 2. Add in more reflection, ask them how is it relevant? Lower performing students do better. 3. Design tasks that end with a public product. It naturally motivates students to work harder. 

I found it sobering. A few of them like number four I think I was doing pretty well on. But others I realized I was way off and it was likely a contributor to some unmotivated students. Obviously students are also fully responsible for their own motivation level and choosing how they want to interact with the classroom environment, but the teacher definitely plays an important role as well. It also reminded me of what motivates me. I love choosing what I want to do and what I want to learn and then really going for it. When someone is really controlling about what I do and learn I automatically lose respect for them and am much less likely to listen to what they would have me do. If a professor or teacher cares about me as a person I will work way harder in their class. So I saw the validity right away in what she was saying. I think my biggest flaws as a teacher are I just want to jump in way too fast and solve everything for everyone, and sometimes I care more about the content than about the students. So just talking to each student 2 minutes a week about something random other than school seems like a really doable and helpful goal and first place to start. 

These same principles can work in our own lives too. How good of a relationship do we have with ourself? Do we like to spend time alone with ourselves? Do we laugh at our own jokes? If we can build our relationship with ourself we are more likely to be motivated to learn and improve ourselves. How do we lead ourselves? Do we use sheer grit and willpower to force ourselves to do something or do we give ourselves lots of good choices and then pick the best one? One option is a lot more sustainable in the long run. 

These principles can also help others. I mean, throughout history huge wars were fought simply for the cause of freedom. So being able to have a choice is a very motivating factor. To do anything we are also much more likely to do it for the people we love and who respect us back. So if you want to be influential, and motivate others the best things you can do is be someone who loves authentically and gets to know people, give people freedom, or at least multiple good choices that they can choose from, give them opportunities for their own intrinsic gain and not any external punishments or rewards, and finally speak to people about what is important to them. We may have just seen how important that is in this last election. 

Anyways, those are some of the things I have been pondering as I try to help my class develop their own intrinsic motivation, maybe it will be helpful to you as well. 

The most worthwhile thing in life...

This weekend Jetaime and I have been at the November Retreat at the Regina Apostolic Church. It has been beautiful and incredible. Two nights ago Tyler Gray was leading worship and he said "Listen, I'm not all that much older than you guys. In all my years on this earth I can honestly say there is no more worthwhile thing than the presence of God. Nothing tastes sweeter, nothing satisfies more, nothing will quench the thirst in your heart like the presence of God." As he was saying that the hunger level in the room for the presence of God rose and God just met the desire of all our hearts. Wave after wave of God's presence poured out over us. So many felt their burdens lift off their shoulders and others just felt joy and peace more than they ever had before. I stood there with my hands raised remembering all that God has done in my life. 

When I was fairly young we would go to bible quizzing meets with hundreds of other youths who were excited about God and memorizing his word. Some of those times in worship the presence of God was so sweet and it softened my heart and gave me so much peace. That was the first main time I ever tasted the goodness of God and I knew there was nothing I wanted more in my life. At that time I didn't know too much about God and so I didn't know how to enjoy God's presence day to day. But the times when I joined with other believers in worship I was able to get glimpses and amazing tastes of what it was like. 

Years later I started reading a book by John Crowder called "Mystical Union" where he challenged all of my major beliefs and God changed my life through that book. The main idea is that when Jesus died on the cross and yelled out "It is finished" that he meant it. We no longer need to earn God's favour. We no longer need our efforts at righteousness to please God. He is already pleased with us! That means that Christ in us gives us the freedom to enjoy the goodness and presence of God every single day, every single moment. Christ saved us from the power of sin and death and now there is absolutely nothing stopping us from complete and full union with Christ every moment of every day. That truth is lifechanging. 

I began to believe that Christ was already in me and I no longer need to enter into his presence. I am already there. I can enjoy him as much while running to work as I can in a boring conversation or a worship service. Location does not matter at all. I don't need to wait until I am surrounded by people hungry for His presence. I can enjoy God's presence everywhere because of the work Christ already accomplished. He removed every dividing wall between us. Praise God!! 

Being a first year teacher can be draining sometimes. It can be frustrating, and there are times I have wanted to throw in the towel. But when the presence of God melts away my anxieties and frustrations I know that everything will be alright. Nothing can separate me from the love of God. It changes everything, and I can agree with Tyler that it is absolutely the most worthwhile thing in life. 

My First Teaching Evaluation

On Monday a kind lady from my school district is going to come and evaluate how I'm doing as a teacher. It's pretty exciting and a bit scary. I get one period to show her my strengths and weaknesses, who I am as a person, and how I am as a teacher. There's been times this semester when I felt like I am probably the worst teacher in the world. My class has gone crazy and not listened to anything I've said. Other times we have some awesome discussion and focused times of learning. Many students are reading more now than they ever have before. Some seem more excited about school, other feel like they hate it more because of me. There are days I've come home and wanted to cry because I get so frustrated that they're just not getting it. But then I remember,

It's not about me, it's about them.

I've spent nine years in postsecondary and earned three bachelors degrees. I've read 1,600 articles on one of my apps in the last couple years. I love to learn because I think the world is fascinating and I want to help students gain some of that excitement. But when I'm honest, sometimes I care more about being seen as a knowledgeable teacher than I do about making sure I'm going slow enough that all the students really get it. I've found out that I'm not as patient as I always considered I was. As I prepare myself and my class for Monday it has helped me realign my priorities. What does truly good teaching look like? Can I live that consistently instead of just when an important pair of eyes are watching?

I sat out on my porch last night for about twenty minutes just thinking about the world. The verse popped into my mind "He who is faithful with little will be entrusted with much. But he who is not faithful with little, even what he has will be taken away." I'm teaching near the edge of "civilization" in Northern Saskatchewan. Some days so few students show up that I only have a third of my eighteen student class there. It's easy to think that maybe trying so hard doesn't matter. Just give a worksheet and let them do the things they are already good at. But even if only a few students show up, those students matter. Even if they have a bad attitude or simply don't care too much, they are worthy of love and my best.

As I've got to know them I have realized bit by bit how amazing these kids are. They have come through a lot of hardship, and have some pretty amazing personalities. I just want to be faithful, and to teach them to be faithful too with little. It's all we can do.

An unusual game of Monopoly

Yesterday I won a game of Monopoly against my students and I felt like I was the worst player among them. I was really good, I stacked up on houses early on and made a ton of money in rent. When they couldn’t pay my rent they gave me their locations until I had the most in the game. The thing that shocked me though is they played with a whole different value system. When someone couldn’t pay they reduced the rent, when someone lost their money they would all chip in to help that person. They laughed and all just helped each other so everybody could last as long as possible. Eventually the bell rang and the game was over. I had the most money and locations by far, but the least generosity. If the ancient saying is true “The only thing you can truly keep is all that you give away.” then I had the least amount at the end of the game.   

I’m living with my wife in a small community in Northern Saskatchewan, Canada. They are tight-knit and friendly. It is a first nations reservation. In some ways it is like travelling to a new country with a very different value system. The students have a lot more independence and freedom and it takes a lot more for them to buy in to simply participate. It’s only slowly as I’ve deepened relationships and built trust that they begin to dive into the activities more. I realized that a lot of the culture I come from is one of competition, passion, and trying to be the best. The interesting thing that was so evident in Monopoly is that these values look a lot different up here. Community is so important and if you really excel then sometimes that sets you apart from the community. If you have big dreams then often that makes you leave the community because there are not too many jobs here. So when I got here it seemed like there was a lot of apathy, but over time I realized that first of all they did not want to be controlled by anyone and second, I think the rewards of working hard are not as obvious or apparent. There is a pretty good life that can be had without a lot of academic success. ;   

All this has helped me to evaluate my own value system. There is more that I can learn from them about generosity, kindness and openness, and hopefully there will be more I can teach them about planning for the future and developing skills. I am excited to see where this year goes. ;

Rest, rest, rest, and I'll do the rest :)

I'm in a pretty exciting season of life. Most of my biggest dreams in life have all come true. I just got married to a delightful girl, I finished University in the fall with the inordinate amount of 3 bachelor degrees, I get to be a teacher soon! So many of the things I've dreamed about since I was young are becoming reality now. 

However, it is also a time filled with possibility. Simple decisions we make now could decide the future of our lives. Should we live in Canada or Malaysia? Should we teach, do university ministry, or something entirely different? How should we live? Statistics show that generally the way you start living will be the way you keep on living in terms of a lot of habits. We can change them once we get in our ruts, but it takes a lot of conscious effort. So what kind of things do we want to build our lives upon? 

I get excited easily and want to commit to so many things. I really want to learn Chinese, I want to play guitar beautifully, be a great husband and I want to learn so much about the whole world. I also get distracted easily and like TV shows, articles, and books a lot. For awhile I was feeling really ambitious and also frustrated because I couldn't do it all and barely had enough time in each day. 

Then a few days ago I was spending time in God's presence and I asked him "God, I'm feeling really frustrated and I feel like I'm not pleasing you because I'm not doing everything I can with the time I have. What should I focus on?" And I felt God just gently say "Rest, rest, rest and I'll do the rest". So I laid down all my ambitions at His feet and just began to spend time everyday resting and enjoying God's presence. It was really cool, because I felt my heart becoming really content and peaceful. My self-control grew and also I felt peace to take each goal on a more long-term basis. My relationship with Jetaime became more fun and playful, and just everything became more beautiful. 

Now as I think of this next year I only have one goal left. I want to learn everyday to rest in His love, and let Him do the rest ;). 

- David Hepting

Giving Everything We Have

It's easy to get discouraged. Just read the news! The more I learn about the state of the world, the more I feel powerless to bring about the change that I long to see. Jetaime and I have been travelling a lot for our honeymoon and you see a lot of different conditions of people in society. Travelling also gives you a lot of time to think. I was thinking about all this last Sunday and God spoke to me through the sermon on John 6. The chapter describes how Jesus is speaking to 5,000 men plus women and children and it becomes time for lunch. This is a real problem because they are in a far away place and don't have money or access to enough for all of these people to eat.

Jesus sees the problem, knows the answer, and then says probably the most hilarious thing in the gospels. I just imagine him affecting a worried look, kind of anxious about the situation and going up to Phillip and whispering "Phillip, where in the world are we going to get enough bread for all of these people to eat?" This really throws Phillip and the disciples off their A game. Up to this point it seemed like Jesus took care of all the problems and they just enjoyed the ride. But now Jesus was putting the responsibility for the miraculous in their hands and the problem was way too big for them!

I have felt the exact same way as the disciples so many times. When I was doing my teaching internship for four months I often felt really overwhelmed. I had these huge dreams for my students and myself, but it just felt impossible to get there. When I hear about homelessness in Regina and some of the systemic oppressions that the marginalized face I want to make a difference but I can't do much at all. When I know the sweetness and joy of God's presence I want to just share it with the world, but I don't know the best way. Sometimes I am crippled by fear, feelings of inadequacy, or even just not knowing what to do.

The disciples were in this situation and they began to look at possibilities. "We could buy food for everyone but that would cost a whole years salary" "Oh yeah, also there is not exactly enough catering available for a crowd of over 5,000 even if we had the money." Finally Andrew comes in, I think he sees the ridiculousness of the situation and maybe as a joke he says "Hey guys don't worry! I found a kid with five loaves of bread and two fish...". But even he can't keep up the illusion and he ends defeatedly "But how far will that go among so many?"

The disciples are defeated by the size of the problem, they have run out of options, they have given up hope and I think that is exactly where Jesus wanted them. If Jesus had just fed the 5,000 without putting the responsibility in their hands then they would be excited by the miracle, but never realize that it had been within the realm of possibility for them to do something about the problem. One of my favourite quotes about God was said, I believe, by Corrie ten Boom "When the foundations of our life are being shaken we look to God, only to find that often he is the one shaking them."

The kingdom of God generally exists right at the edge or past our comfort zone. All the greatest miracles I have ever seen in my life involved a step or leap of faith beyond what I was comfortable with. I remember going to bible school with only $800 in my bank account. I didn't know anyone there, I didn't have a place to stay until a week before, it was in a different country, I didn't have any clue about how it was all going to come together but I felt a peace and a calling from God to go there. I went, and God met every single need. Even when my bank account was literally down to like two dollars he provided rent for a month, for three months he actually provided enough for me to eat pretty well on less than a dollar for the whole day and he even provided enough to be generous to others too.

I gained so much while I was down there and so many more miracles than just provision. My roommate and I prayed for man's leg/ankle which had been shattered. He couldn't put any pressure on it without intense pain, but after we prayed he could completely rest on it without any pain. My roommate prayed for a lady with Parkinson's and saw it healed. We prayed for an amazing Mexican lady we had befriended after she was diagnosed with tumours in her chest and they dissolved, which was later verified in her next medical examination. We saw people get out of wheelchairs, saw people receive winds of refreshing as they discovered the salvation of God, and we encountered the presence of God in the most beautiful ways.

In the past few years I haven't lived in that exciting of edge of faith as much and haven't been in as many John 6 situations where I have to rely on God alone to see the mountains move. But he's still been merciful and done many miracles in my life. I know the kingdom of God is both within me and just at the edge of my reach where I have to step out and touch it. I am God's son. I am his beloved and he loves to walk with me. You are his son or daughter too. You have the kingdom of God within you. If you are struggling with a problem and God asks you with a worried look "How in the world will you deal with this problem?" You can just laugh, give thanks to God, and proceed as if there was no such thing as lack in your life.

Just like Jesus did.

Jesus is our model and guide. After the disciples spent three years with him they went out pretty fearlessly and changed the world. But I think there is one other hero in this story that we often forget and can learn a lot from. The boy. I think it's likely that the boy approached Andrew and offered his bread and fishes. I have no proof, just a gut feeling that the most likely suspect to have the faith of a child is a child. He likely saw the immensity of the problem but thought "My mom worries too much about me and packed way too much for a little guy like me. I can at least share what I have." He didn't worry if it was enough, he decided that he would simply offer everything he had and let God do the rest. Without the boys sacrifice what would there have been to multiply?

Some people like to "Wait and see the salvation of the Lord" just like Moses said. But if you read that passage closely God actually rebukes Moses gently and says "I will open the waters when you step into them". Just like he did for Joshua when entering the promised land. God doesn't ask us for much, just for everything. He asks us to take the first step of faith and then his job is be the miraculous solution. We need to watch God closely and find out what he wants to do, then simply offer everything we have and watch God do the rest! The Christian life is not so difficult if we rest in Him and trust Him, even a child can walk in it. The difficulty comes in giving up our comfort and following God. I think this quote from GK Chesterton sums up the issue.

"The Christian ideal has not been tried and found wanting. It has been found difficult; and left untried."

Later in the gospel, Jesus is sleeping in a boat with his disciples and a storm comes up so powerful that the disciples think they are going to die. Jesus is still sleeping. They wake him up and shout "Don't you care that we are going to die!?!" Then I imagine him get up kind of groggily, rebuke the storm "Be still!" And as he lies back down he asks "Why are you still afraid? Do you have no faith?" Or in other words "How come you guys didn't do anything about the storm?" It is the storms that we can rest in that we have authority over. When we strive for the miraculous apart from rest we will get worn out. Jesus said in John 14 "If you abide in me you will bear much fruit". Abiding in God is as easy as abiding in a house. It takes no effort on our parts, we just abide. We can rest in God, in his love, and in his peace. Then when we see the size of the problem it is so much smaller than the size of God.

"In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength." - Isaiah 30:15

God has to shake our foundations when we rest and trust in things besides Him. It can be a painful process, there can be a lot of disillusionment and your faith might not even survive if you don't understand what God is doing in the midst of your situations. But when you can see God present in those situations, you can rest in him, trust in him, and really know him. Then when Jesus comes up to you in mock anxiety and asks "Where are we going to find bread for all these people to eat?" You can smile and say "I know exactly where".

- David Hepting

Hospitality: The Way of Friendship

"Eating, and hospitality in general, is a communion, and any meal worth attending by yourself is improved by the multiples of those with whom it is shared." ― Jesse Browner

If you open the door of your house you often open the door of your heart soon after. I can think of few better ways in life to deepen friendship than through hospitality. Even something like a wild hiking trip that brings friends way closer together through difficulty, it is a form of hospitality where you make each other feel safe and at home in all the small ways you can despite the difficulties you face.

Every time I travel for an extended period I remember in the most extravagant ways that hospitality is one of the most beautiful things in the world. From the time my team of six met a refugee from Afghanistan in Turkey who opened his home to us and fed us a completely delicious meal. They had several kids and only made maybe eight to ten dollars a week by collecting bottles for the deposit, but they gave so generously to us of all that they had. Or the man selling kebabs as street food who fed my team an incredible three course meal just an hour after meeting us on the street and knowing he would likely never see us again.

Last night I was shown this truth again. Jetaime and I were trying to meet our friend Ryan in Sendai Japan, and everything went wrong. Our internet stopped working and we arrived too late. So we couldn't contact him and he waited at the meeting spot, but left after we didn't show up for a long time. We thought we could sleep the night at Mcdonald's because that is what many do, but it turned out this was not a twenty four hour Mcdonalds. All our plans were falling through and it was minus one Celsius and so my plan of camping was looking a bit more challenging. The McDonald's was going to close at eleven pm and we had nowhere to sleep.

We started asking for around for wifi, or ideas of where to stay, but most patrons and employees of McDonald's didn't speak the best English. Finally I talked to one man sitting by himself. He had a quick smile and spoke very good English. We found out later that he was actually a Neuroscientist/researcher and he went to McDonald's because it was easier to stay focused and the more lively atmosphere helped him write papers for journals. He had a hard time putting all the elements of our story together. To be honest, we did too! How did we get to this crazy place of desperation for a place to stay?

I felt a peace that God was taking care of us in the midst of these problems, and indeed he may have been the author of both the problems and the solution! This man at first offered us to use his phone to call our friend, then to research for us a place to stay, then he offered us his place to stay! He was thinking really hard about it before he offered. At first, I thought "Surely, this isn't too hard of a decision. It's just either yes or no." But again, we later found out that he had a big family to care about, and it was already quite late. We also didn't realize how much effort and generosity it entailed when he said "You can come to my place! Please come..."

"Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by doing that some have entertained angels without knowing it." Hebrews 13:2

"As a way of life, an act of love, an expression of faith, our hospitality reflects and anticipates God's welcome. Simultaneously costly and wonderfully rewarding, hospitality often involves small deaths and little resurrections. By God's grace we can grow more willing, more eager, to open the door to a needy neighbor, a weary sister or brother, a stranger in distress. Perhaps as we open that door more regularly, we will grow increasingly sensitive to the quiet knock of angels. In the midst of a life-giving practice, we too might catch glimpses of Jesus who asks for our welcome and welcomes us home." ― Christine Pohl

They pulled out all the stops for us: gave us about four blankets each and a really nice sleeping pad. Showed us how to use a traditional Japanese bathroom and the amazing hot bath they keep ready. At night we had snacks, and later a beer and great conversation with our new host. In the morning we got up to the smell of fresh coffee for us. We met each of their three kids, and the mother-in-law made the most exquisite breakfast for us: the freshest tomato, salmon, egg, salad, miso soup, matcha tea, and steaming hot bacon!!! We took a picture of everyone and the dad quickly printed it off and got us to write our contact information so that we could stay in touch. He gave us a printed photo with them. He shared the area, the history, his passion, and some good laughs with us. When we left, we were so shocked that this family which was filled with complete strangers the night before had become good friends within 12 hours. Their kindness just unlocked new levels of friendship that wouldn't have been possible in any other way.

Sometimes I wonder if that verse in Hebrews goes both ways that we sometime take care of angels by accident through our welcome, but maybe when we are welcomed sometimes it is by the very presence of God and his angels. Maybe we can interact with the divine through the help of strangers.

"Once again...welcome to my house. Come freely. Go safely; and leave something of the happiness you bring.” ― Bram Stoker

- David Hepting

Strangers No More

"I am a stranger and foreigner among you" -Abraham

I was reading the book of Genesis today and was struck by that line. Abraham left everything he ever knew. His family, homeland, and comfort and he went to a land he did not know all because he heard a voice that told him to. Abraham trusted the God he couldn't see over all the people he could see. His knowledge of God was not some theoretical belief that he ascribed to. It literally influenced and was the reason for every major decision in his life. First he left everything, he believed God when he was told he would have a son, he waited 25 years for God to fulfill that promise. He was willing to sacrifice his son, the son of promise, because he trusted the God he knew with the most precious thing in his life. I believe Jewish people describe ten major tests of faith and decisions that Abraham made in his lifetime that showed his deep trust in God. All his days he lived a stranger to many because he was fully known by one.

As we have been travelling for these last two months I've definitely felt a lot like Abraham: a stranger and foreigner. Sometimes, especially where everyone is speaking a different language, the feeling is more acute. Then other times when I see some human commonality I think "Haha, we're alike!!" I had this thought the other day "We're all the same in that we are all completely different".

Everybody is a stranger.

And... I think one of our biggest desires in life is to become known. One thing we want more than anything else is to move from being a stranger to being fully known. There may be some sort of relationship with our mothers in the womb but from the moment we are born we are pretty much strangers to the whole world. I think that's one of the reasons why kids are so friendly, trusting and free, because the whole world, all the people, are there to be known!! So many questions to ask because the whole universe and all the people in it are filled with mystery and wonder.

We only start to close up when we are hurt. We only fear being known when we realize that when we are known then we can be hurt more deeply. It creates this urgency within us, we long to be known but we fear it more than anything else because when we are known all our weak and soft areas are laid bare.

Before we got married, I told Jetaime "I am giving you the knives to my heart. You will be able to hurt me more than anyone else, because I am going to trust you more than anyone else with my weakness, my failures and my fears." It was kind of a weird thing to say, but it felt important that I say it. She has hurt me since then, and I have hurt her too. We don't want to, but it still happens and we are slowly getting better at taking care of each other's hearts. I have this vision and dream of what our marriage can be, and I know that we need to keep going down this path of knowing each other more and more to get there, even when it hurts.

It's interesting that we are both teachers who are in a relationship. To some, teachers are peddlers of knowledge. We just fill up bright young minds with all sorts of interesting things and prepare them for life. But I have been reading Parker Palmer and John Dewey recently and it's not, or it shouldn't be, simply that. Teachers don't give knowledge, they lead students into a relationship with the known. There is always a need for a relationship between the knower and the known. When we divorce that, our knowledge becomes dry, esoteric, and conceited. Knowledge is precious and valuable, but it can't be some sort of hidden horde of treasure. It has to be created, kept, and transacted in community. It's like when you read a great book you use all these relational terms about what you know "OMG, when Twilight came out I just fell in love with it, I couldn't put it down, I had to know everything that happened to Bella" ;) . Haha, just kidding, but the point remains that we only really know something when we have some sort of love and relationship with that thing. It's awesome to hear a scientist or biologist talk with passion about mildew or pondscum, you can hardly help but get excited yourself.

In the bible, the Torah especially, the verb yada "to know" is also the word for sex. Adam knew Eve and they gave birth to a son. There is so much fascinating truth in that you could ponder for days. The thing that it brings to mind for me though is that from the beginning God designed knowledge in the context of loving relationship. God put a desire in us to be known, thoroughly and in an increasing way. A committed relationship is the only way that can happen and grow.

When people say traditional marriage is old-fashioned and we should expand our ideas of relationships to include casual hookups, polygamy, polyamory, and other sorts of open relationships, I think they have never really seen or experienced the beauty, passion and joy of monogamy. Can you imagine giving your life wholeheartedly to one person? They know you completely, warts and all, and still love you with all their heart? I don't think there is anything in the world that compares to that! If people could get a taste of what true monogamy looks like they wouldn't be satisfied with a cheap imitation of it. I see Christians advocating harshly against the sin and wrong paths that people go down. But if we learned to just show what simple, joyful, faithful love looked like wouldn't a lot more people be attracted to that? If we demonstrated trusting, hopeful, kind relationships where each person was both fully known and fully loved then maybe we could put down our picket signs, because people might be interested to have what we have.

So far, I have been suggesting that our greatest desire in life is to be known. I think that is true, but I would suggest there is an greater aspect to it than we generally understand. We desire to both be known and to know. Jesus, suggested that eternity is about one thing

And this is eternal life, that they know you the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent. - John 17:3

The eternal purpose and direction of our lives is to know God and Jesus. To people who say heaven sounds boring when it's a bunch of lame people sitting on clouds strumming harps, this might sound a lot more boring! Hundreds of millions of years and on and on into eternity just getting to know God, but to those who have ever truly experienced God nothing could be more entrancing or exciting. He is endless delight, he knows our sorrows and suffering because he experienced them too. He is the most fascinating one you will ever meet. He knows every hair on your head and every dream or fear you've ever had. He is hilarious! God is so pure, so bright, so beautiful, we can't even imagine how clean it feels to be in love with him, "in him there is no darkness" because he dwells in perfect light. Every burden you have ever had falls off in his presence. Every worry or sorrow you have carried is melted in his heart.

And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God.

He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away."

And he who was seated on the throne said, "Behold, I am making all things new." Revelation 21:3-5

We get to know God. My former bible college professor Bob Gladstone talked about heaven something like this. "You get there and you are just in awe. You understand one aspect of God and you are dumbfounded and amazed for a million years. Then you understand another truth about him and another million years pass in pure wonder." You can't get tired of God because he is infinite beauty, you can't grow bored because he is the greatest storyteller in the world. My heart is one that loves adventure and I can't imagine a heaven that is not filled with wild adventure. All fear and pain will have passed away and relationships can only grow more and more rich, deep and beautiful. We will know and be known.

We will be strangers no longer.
- David Hepting

First Hitchhiking Experience

"We cannot tell the precise moment when friendship is formed. As in filling a vessel drop by drop, there is at last a drop which makes it run over; so in a series of kindnesses there is at last one which makes the heart run over.” ― Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451

Today was possibly my favourite day of our whole honeymoon so far. It was so filled with so much unexpected kindness and beautiful moments with new friends. We started our journey at a rest stop in Kyoto and then hitchhiked over 450 kilometres to Tokyo!

We got three different rides and each one was so special. It was my first time ever hitchhiking, I had picked up many before, but never was one myself. The first guy spoke Chinese! So that was special because then Jetaime could talk to him and I could too a bit. The next guy spoke the least English but we discovered how powerful google translate is! I was so amazed how we could just talk into the iPad and have a full, albeit slow, conversation. He told us his favourite thing about Japan is that "there is no more fighting". He misses his wife a lot when he has to drive 20 hours a day in his truck.

It was the third man we met though that completely changed my understanding of what hospitality looks like to strangers. When we first saw him he said he was going to Tokyo, but his car was packed full with luggage. We should stay where we were and he would try to make room for us. We waited 15-20 minutes and there was no sign of him. We thought he must not have been able to make any room and so he just moved on. But we were so wrong! He spent over 25 minutes reorganizing his car so that we could fit in and our bags. He spoke slow, but had good English.

After about 40 minutes of driving he says he will get us some snacks and drinks. He bought us amazing sushi, tempura, juice, coffee, eggs, chicken, and vegetables. I'm pretty sure he spent over $30 on us. But he was so humble and kind "This is a wedding gift and little celebration for you guys" he said. Then he asked where we wanted to stay and we said a really cheap manga Cafe. So he found some near our Airbnb place for tomorrow and started calling them to see how much they were. He had so much patience! I think he called like seven of them and finally found one for a really good price. Then he drove us all the way there, to a really obscure place that probably added an hour to his trip. We were total strangers to him, but he just showed so much love, humour and generosity. We have become friends.

Travelling is cool. The sights, sounds, tastes, and smells of a new country are totally worth it. But it is the beauty and kindness I see in the people we meet that melt my heart and give me so much joy.

- David Hepting

An Unsolved Mystery...

There are always adventures waiting just around the corner...

We had a nice day today to rest and recover from a pretty full week. Tonight we went for a walk and realizing there was a sweet forested hill behind our place I thought we should check it out. We tramped over some worn boards, and a slippery train track, then headed into the forest.

It was super steep, and the dirt was crumbling around us, but I was have an inordinate sense of confidence in nature and I told Jetaime "We're fine!" We crested the first hill and there was the sketchiest shack I have ever seen. Pure darkness inside, old rusted tools outside, and some kind of metal Zipline that went into its depths. Jetaime didn't want to go anywhere near it. It would have made the perfect setting for a zombie horror film just as darkness was settling around us. I wanted to check it out just to be funny and maybe pretend something crazy happened, but I did the husbandly thing and said "Ok, we can go back :) 

Maybe someday we'll find out what really resided there, but until then it will remain the unsolved mystery of the scary shack ;)

- David Hepting

An Interesting Day in Kyoto

I got to share chocolate cake with a beautiful lady today!

It turned into one of the coolest experiences of our trip. We ate at a place called the "ask me Cafe". The guy who started it has been a Kyoto city planner for more than thirty years. He wanted to share the fascinating history of this city which is over a 1,000 years old. He had been dreaming about starting the cafe for over fifteen years and last year he finally did it!

It still hasn't made any money, but he's in it for the opportunity to share with travellers and locals about this beautiful city he loves so much. Jetaime especially got inspired by him and the way he has given up so much for his dream and his desire to share his passion for this city with others.

One thing he mentioned offhandedly is that the original Nintendo headquarters were only a few blocks away!! It is a company that is over 100 years old and originally they made, I think, wooden playing cards for gangsters. So we got to go to the original Nintendo headquarters and take some pictures. He was just filled with little tidbits like that. It was a really nice highlight of our day.

- David Hepting

I Love Japan!

I love Japan! It is one of the most beautiful, interesting, and enjoyable countries I have ever stayed in. All the food is incredible, from the cheapest frozen convenience store food to the outlandishly high standards of Kobe beef or fruit for over $100 a piece. The people are so kind and helpful. It's almost hilarious when we have asked for directions and even if they don't speak any English, they will keep talking to us slower in Japanese and pointing and eventually walking with us until we find the place, even if it's out of their way.

It's also wildly expensive if you're not careful. We thought we were being really frugal, but when we added the totals from two and a half days it was really surprising. However, we decided to take it as a creative constraint and an opportunity to innovate our lifestyle to use new ways to live simply and more adventurously. We might try hitchhiking to Tokyo from Osaka, possibly buying sturdy but inexpensive bikes on Craigslist and using them for transportation around Tokyo and maybe all the way to Sendai! Possibly do some urban camping too. It's an exciting situation when circumstances give you an opportunity to step out of your comfort zone and live a little more adventurously than usual.

One thing Japan has taught me is the simple beauty of enjoyment. They have the second highest life expectancy of any nation on earth and it's not hard to see why. Everywhere we go we often see people simply sitting and enjoying nature. So many of the sites have a real meditative quality to them. I'm often surprised at how quiet it is, even in a crowd of people. They eat the freshest foods, and love to walk and bike everywhere. The balance is also shifted the other way by how many people love to smoke and how high their suicide rate is, so it goes to show that the healthy aspects of their culture would be even higher if it wasn't for those two things. But as I've been here I've realized how hectic my life has been for a long time. I've often kept a good sense of the peace of God and an awareness of His presence in my life, but I long for so much more.

I know this is becoming almost cliché in our culture, but I do just want to simplify, get rid of all that is extra and unneeded and live for what's most important. People are so beautiful and worthy of being loved well. Music, stories and laughter are some of my favourite things. I also love to learn and have adventures. My favourite thing in the world is if I can help people encounter the love and kindness of God! Somehow my life can get filled up with all sorts of other things besides that, and I'm realizing it might be the time to become more intentional about getting back to the basics. Anyways, haha before this post turns into a novel I better end, but that is a little of where we are at now. Thankful for the present and excited for the future.

- David Hepting