Monday, February 22, 2016

Strangers No More

"I am a stranger and foreigner among you" -Abraham
I was reading the book of Genesis today and was struck by that line. Abraham left everything he ever knew. His family, homeland, and comfort and he went to a land he did not know all because he heard a voice that told him to. Abraham trusted the God he couldn't see over all the people he could see. His knowledge of God was not some theoretical belief that he ascribed to. It literally influenced and was the reason for every major decision in his life. First he left everything, he believed God when he was told he would have a son, he waited 25 years for God to fulfill that promise. He was willing to sacrifice his son, the son of promise, because he trusted the God he knew with the most precious thing in his life. I believe Jewish people describe ten major tests of faith and decisions that Abraham made in his lifetime that showed his deep trust in God. All his days he lived a stranger to many because he was fully known by one.
As we have been travelling for these last two months I've definitely felt a lot like Abraham: a stranger and foreigner. Sometimes, especially where everyone is speaking a different language, the feeling is more acute. Then other times when I see some human commonality I think "Haha, we're alike!!" I had this thought the other day "We're all the same in that we are all completely different".
Everybody is a stranger.
And... I think one of our biggest desires in life is to become known. One thing we want more than anything else is to move from being a stranger to being fully known. There may be some sort of relationship with our mothers in the womb but from the moment we are born we are pretty much strangers to the whole world. I think that's one of the reasons why kids are so friendly, trusting and free, because the whole world, all the people, are there to be known!! So many questions to ask because the whole universe and all the people in it are filled with mystery and wonder.
We only start to close up when we are hurt. We only fear being known when we realize that when we are known then we can be hurt more deeply. It creates this urgency within us, we long to be known but we fear it more than anything else because when we are known all our weak and soft areas are laid bare.
Before we got married, I told Jetaime "I am giving you the knives to my heart. You will be able to hurt me more than anyone else, because I am going to trust you more than anyone else with my weakness, my failures and my fears." It was kind of a weird thing to say, but it felt important that I say it. She has hurt me since then, and I have hurt her too. We don't want to, but it still happens and we are slowly getting better at taking care of each other's hearts. I have this vision and dream of what our marriage can be, and I know that we need to keep going down this path of knowing each other more and more to get there, even when it hurts.
It's interesting that we are both teachers who are in a relationship. To some, teachers are peddlers of knowledge. We just fill up bright young minds with all sorts of interesting things and prepare them for life. But I have been reading Parker Palmer and John Dewey recently and it's not, or it shouldn't be, simply that. Teachers don't give knowledge, they lead students into a relationship with the known. There is always a need for a relationship between the knower and the known. When we divorce that, our knowledge becomes dry, esoteric, and conceited. Knowledge is precious and valuable, but it can't be some sort of hidden horde of treasure. It has to be created, kept, and transacted in community. It's like when you read a great book you use all these relational terms about what you know "OMG, when Twilight came out I just fell in love with it, I couldn't put it down, I had to know everything that happened to Bella" ;) . Haha, just kidding, but the point remains that we only really know something when we have some sort of love and relationship with that thing. It's awesome to hear a scientist or biologist talk with passion about mildew or pondscum, you can hardly help but get excited yourself.
In the bible, the Torah especially, the verb yada "to know" is also the word for sex. Adam knew Eve and they gave birth to a son. There is so much fascinating truth in that you could ponder for days. The thing that it brings to mind for me though is that from the beginning God designed knowledge in the context of loving relationship. God put a desire in us to be known, thoroughly and in an increasing way. A committed relationship is the only way that can happen and grow.
When people say traditional marriage is old-fashioned and we should expand our ideas of relationships to include casual hookups, polygamy, polyamory, and other sorts of open relationships, I think they have never really seen or experienced the beauty, passion and joy of monogamy. Can you imagine giving your life wholeheartedly to one person? They know you completely, warts and all, and still love you with all their heart? I don't think there is anything in the world that compares to that! If people could get a taste of what true monogamy looks like they wouldn't be satisfied with a cheap imitation of it. I see Christians advocating harshly against the sin and wrong paths that people go down. But if we learned to just show what simple, joyful, faithful love looked like wouldn't a lot more people be attracted to that? If we demonstrated trusting, hopeful, kind relationships where each person was both fully known and fully loved then maybe we could put down our picket signs, because people might be interested to have what we have.
So far, I have been suggesting that our greatest desire in life is to be known. I think that is true, but I would suggest there is an greater aspect to it than we generally understand. We desire to both be known and to know. Jesus, suggested that eternity is about one thing
And this is eternal life, that they know you the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent. - John 17:3
The eternal purpose and direction of our lives is to know God and Jesus. To people who say heaven sounds boring when it's a bunch of lame people sitting on clouds strumming harps, this might sound a lot more boring! Hundreds of millions of years and on and on into eternity just getting to know God, but to those who have ever truly experienced God nothing could be more entrancing or exciting. He is endless delight, he knows our sorrows and suffering because he experienced them too. He is the most fascinating one you will ever meet. He knows every hair on your head and every dream or fear you've ever had. He is hilarious! God is so pure, so bright, so beautiful, we can't even imagine how clean it feels to be in love with him, "in him there is no darkness" because he dwells in perfect light. Every burden you have ever had falls off in his presence. Every worry or sorrow you have carried is melted in his heart.
And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God.
He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away."
And he who was seated on the throne said, "Behold, I am making all things new." Revelation 21:3-5
We get to know God. My former bible college professor Bob Gladstone talked about heaven something like this. "You get there and you are just in awe. You understand one aspect of God and you are dumbfounded and amazed for a million years. Then you understand another truth about him and another million years pass in pure wonder." You can't get tired of God because he is infinite beauty, you can't grow bored because he is the greatest storyteller in the world. My heart is one that loves adventure and I can't imagine a heaven that is not filled with wild adventure. All fear and pain will have passed away and relationships can only grow more and more rich, deep and beautiful. We will know and be known.
We will be strangers no longer.
- David Hepting

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