My First Teaching Evaluation

On Monday a kind lady from my school district is going to come and evaluate how I'm doing as a teacher. It's pretty exciting and a bit scary. I get one period to show her my strengths and weaknesses, who I am as a person, and how I am as a teacher. There's been times this semester when I felt like I am probably the worst teacher in the world. My class has gone crazy and not listened to anything I've said. Other times we have some awesome discussion and focused times of learning. Many students are reading more now than they ever have before. Some seem more excited about school, other feel like they hate it more because of me. There are days I've come home and wanted to cry because I get so frustrated that they're just not getting it. But then I remember,

It's not about me, it's about them.

I've spent nine years in postsecondary and earned three bachelors degrees. I've read 1,600 articles on one of my apps in the last couple years. I love to learn because I think the world is fascinating and I want to help students gain some of that excitement. But when I'm honest, sometimes I care more about being seen as a knowledgeable teacher than I do about making sure I'm going slow enough that all the students really get it. I've found out that I'm not as patient as I always considered I was. As I prepare myself and my class for Monday it has helped me realign my priorities. What does truly good teaching look like? Can I live that consistently instead of just when an important pair of eyes are watching?

I sat out on my porch last night for about twenty minutes just thinking about the world. The verse popped into my mind "He who is faithful with little will be entrusted with much. But he who is not faithful with little, even what he has will be taken away." I'm teaching near the edge of "civilization" in Northern Saskatchewan. Some days so few students show up that I only have a third of my eighteen student class there. It's easy to think that maybe trying so hard doesn't matter. Just give a worksheet and let them do the things they are already good at. But even if only a few students show up, those students matter. Even if they have a bad attitude or simply don't care too much, they are worthy of love and my best.

As I've got to know them I have realized bit by bit how amazing these kids are. They have come through a lot of hardship, and have some pretty amazing personalities. I just want to be faithful, and to teach them to be faithful too with little. It's all we can do.