Life is but a breath

In one week we will begin Christmas holidays! 

This year has been filled with so much. At times it has gone by so slowly, and at others it seems to have sped by. We are studying the Ancient Greeks in social studies right now. The stoics are my favourite and so we are getting into what they believed and how some of their philosophies can help us today. One theme is the shortness of life and how the things we spend so much energy worrying about and focusing on we absolutely wouldn't spend much time on if we realized how short life is. It always reminds me of the hilarious scene in Bill and Teds most excellent adventure when they go back in time to the Greek philosophers and begin quoting the lyrics to Kansas' "Dust in the Wind". We are here only for a moment and the moment's gone. 

Thinking about how short life is myself has helped my teaching practice. At the beginning of the year I put a huge amount of attention and focus into trying to stamp out cell phone usage. It was really frustrating and difficult and the students were attached to them almost like an umbilical cord. Now I started to just put my focus on the students who are interested in learning and paying attention and the whole environment started to change. The students who were distracted by cell phones from time to time see all the fun that the engaged students are having and join in, they also don't feel as harassed all the time by me and a bit more of a friendship is forming. It seems more like a win win for everyone. I still feel like a failure at times because not everyone is engaged and involved 100% of the time, but there is a lot more authentic engagement now than there was before. 

As we talk to friends with kids we also realize that our time is even shorter while we remain without kids and we won't be able to relax together most evenings and watch tv shows or movies or take lots of time to talk through things. So I think we have started to treasure these things more while we still have them. 

The prayer of Moses in the 90th Psalm is "Teach me to number my days that I may gain a heart of wisdom". I think there are few things as closely related to growing wisdom as learning the value, transience, and preciousness of each moment. 

絮絮叨叨

高中部有位老师的家昨天被盗贼破门而入，损失不大，仅一箱啤酒和一大罐子的零钱不翼而飞。房子内较有价值的电视机、吉他等都安然无恙，估计行窃者来去匆忙，无法仔细搜索吧。可怕的是，他的家，就在我们家后面而已。从我们家客厅的窗户，可以看见房子的后方。步行大概20秒距离。

而这位年轻的老师，本来在我们的邀请名单里，请他明天到我们家吃晚餐。刚巧他已计划放工后出远门，又遇上这回倒霉事。我们灵机一动，把今天的晚餐（中式炒饭、日式咖喱、巧克力蛋糕）装在饭盒里，附上一张便利贴写上一段文字，在寒夜里拿到他家。家中失窃固然烦心，但希望我们小小的举动，可以给他一点点的温暖。

老公夸我，说能想出这样的点子，真棒。

可是我在想，我能做的，真的不多啊。随着严冬的到来，气温不断下降，每天太阳露面的时间越来越短。是季节的变迁吗？我近来常常觉得力不从心。想要做的事不少，可是真正付诸行动的，寥寥无几。

虽是家庭主妇，我手边等着完成的任务，还有一张清单那么长。与其对自己过于苛刻而心烦气躁，我开始放宽审核标准。做得到的，咬着牙也尽可能去完成。其他的，就先搁着吧。没有人会在意我做了多少效率如何，说穿了——让自己好过，是对自己的宽容。我赖床的时间变长了，切菜的速度变慢了，看《康熙来了》的次数变多了……没什么好，没什么不好。

我正在自己的世界里，用自己的方式，关怀着我爱的人。未来存在太多未知数，但我走的每一步都在往终点前进。尽管偶尔步伐慢了点。

会不会觉得自己怎么都不够别人勇敢？

别傻了。太多的勇敢是不足挂齿的。

代课初体验

刚过的星期五，我到部落里的中学当了半天的代课老师，重拾与学生相处的日子。

我的老公在这所高中担任Grade 9D的老师，这个阶段在马来西亚的独中算是初中三年级。因为还是初中，所以上课方式是由一位老师（也就是班主任）完成所有的科目教学。就我老公的例子而言，他在班上主要教导英文、数学、科学、艺术和社会学；学生也上体育课、生涯规划课和原住民母语与文化课。

我所接触到的这所中学，每一级分两班，一班大概十多个学生。除了有一位班主任，也另外有一位教学助理——他们不需要是教育系毕业，不必站在课堂前授课，只需要协助老师个别给予学生指导即可。而在部落里的学校，教学助理大部分是来自部落里的妈妈级人物，只需要有耐心，有责任感，大概就可以申请相关职务吧。

虽说一班固定只有十多个学生（太少了吧，马来西亚的老师们别羡慕），但是原住民的情况与一般普通学校有一定的差别，大部分小朋友对求学兴致缺缺，又或者面对难度较高的学习内容很快便产生倦怠而萌生放弃念头。所以，想要每一天都全员到齐，很难。我代课时，班上只有不到十名学生呢。

说起这个代课制度，我觉得挺有意思的。记得在独中任教时，如果有哪一个老师请事假公假或病假，其他老师就有机会收到“代课单”，要牺牲自己原有的休息时间进班对着学生发愣。当然有些老师会在请假前做好交代，那么学生在该时段就会有功课得完成，否则对代课老师来说还是挺痛苦的（一节课两节课的时间彼此大眼瞪小眼，要干嘛呢？）。而在加拿大，每一间学校都有一张代课老师名单，如果哪位老师要请假，学校会拨电给代课老师，请对方到校一天。所以，代课老师很有可能是前一晚或当天早上接电话，一定要做好随时能上场的准备。至于到了学校要干嘛？放心，请假的老师一定会把当天的教学内容准备妥当，你就按照指示完成即可，完全不需要自己动脑筋哦。

我这次（第一次）代课的班级是Grade 9S，在我老公的教室隔壁，学生属于同一年龄层。他们的班主任Shirley之前在其他活动里见过我，也多少从David口中听说过我从前在马来西亚当老师时的故事，所以这次她有私事要提早离开，便决定找我相助。我当天只需要代课两个小时半（午餐时段结束后开始到放学），学生已经被告知要进行班级圣诞布置，而且班主任也允许他们看圣诞电影，所以基本上我是不需要太紧张的。

班上的小朋友们多数都在九月份的文化之旅见过我，所以感觉不太陌生。一开始大家还是有点拘谨的，我坐在班主任的办公桌，他们自顾自地完成圣诞装饰／看电影。我不甘自己像是隐形人一般，后来便鼓起勇气，在第一部电影结束后，他们打算播映下一部电影前，我站起来问他们想不想看我在马来西亚的照片～当下立马看见好几位学生的眼里散发光芒！

于是，我拿出早就做好的Power Point分享了尊孔的教育体制，包括学校、学生、独中运作模式、纪律管理等，让这些不用付钱可以免费读书，而且校风自由的原住民小孩看得目瞪口呆。事后还有同学对着同窗们碎碎念“我们真的很幸福啊！别人每个月要缴学费，书本用具都是自己掏钱买的。我们真的应该好好珍惜啊！”太好了，这不正中我意吗？

放学前的大概二十分钟，我们相处得挺融洽的，一起完成圣诞装饰，听圣诞歌曲，聊部落里的文化，打扫课室……最后，我征得大家得同意，拍了一张合照，连严肃的教学助理也有在里面哦！

后续：同一位班主任两个星期后要再请两天的假，她问我有没有把握给学生们上课，我犹豫不决。要用英文教书，难度未免太高了吧？

吃早餐

大概两个多星期开始，我固定每周一下午三点半到部落里的小学协助一位老师进行一个专为小学女生而设的"Girl Guides"活动。第一周小朋友们做卡片给线上军人，第二周她们学习分辨健康营养的食物，下一周我们将一起做早餐！老师问我，马来西亚人都吃什么样的早餐呢？是否可以在课堂里教导／带领小朋友们一起制作？

我摇头苦笑，我们的早餐很复杂啊！

记得还在读中小学的时候，每天早上都有吃早餐的习惯，不是爸爸去街上打包回来，就是妈妈在家准备：云吞面、叉烧饭、糯米鸡、包子、roti canai、nasi lemak、apung balik、快熟面、芋头kuih、韭菜煎饼、面包夹鸡蛋……没错，现在回想起来，马来西亚人的早餐是款式多变，丰富多彩的。而且，一大清早吃面条米饭？外国人可是啧啧称奇呢。

此时此刻……我想起自己最爱的，家乡的东兴肉骨茶。那是周末早餐的首选！

来到加拿大，我发现大家对于早餐有既定的概念。就我看来，简单的早餐不外乎牛奶，配上早餐谷梁。而热腾腾的，较为大阵仗的早餐内容则包括了各类水果，pancake，培根／香肠、鸡蛋、薯饼、吐司、果汁、牛奶、muffin等等。虽然每一样看起来份量不多，可是却意外让人非常有饱足感。

十月份我和老公回到里贾那过感恩节时约了朋友吃见面，我们到了一家早餐专卖店（营业时间早上五点到十一点），店面小小的，却是门庭若市。菜单很简单，不过光是套餐中的两颗蛋，顾客就可以选择让厨师以自己喜欢的方式烹煮：水煮蛋、煎蛋、荷包蛋、炒蛋……我一时反应不过来，想着蛋还能怎么煮？放进锅子煎一煎不就好了吗？结果便让旁人看笑话了。

和老公搬到偏乡后，一开始他习惯上班前吃早餐谷梁＋牛奶，我则是吃麦片；后来我们想说应该要多吸取纤维，于是他早上都改吃水煮椰菜花＋茄汁豆(baked beans)＋苹果／香蕉。我因为不需要出门工作，所以就只吃早午餐，用的是前一夜的剩菜，或是从冰箱里拿出一些蔬菜随便弄一弄就成一餐了。

至于周末，因为不需要早起，对于breakfast/brunch这件事，可以更随意。兴起的时候，便弄两盘丰盛的培根炒蛋／蘑菇炒洋葱；想偷懒的时候，早餐谷梁凑合着也是能快乐下肚的。

我最近的大发现是：松糕(muffin)真是了不起的食物，只要不到一个小时，就能用相当简单的材料做出各种不同口味的松糕，一次可以至少做出12个松糕哦。平日闲来没事烤一盘松糕，装在盒子放在餐桌上，一个松糕就是一顿早餐，偶尔嘴馋就取一个送入口中，多么方便。我们最近爱上的是香蕉巧克力和麦片巧克力口味，之前我也做过蓝莓和红枣口味的。

而且，最让我兴奋的是，原来松糕和饼干可以带上飞机？！！什么？为什么我之前都不知道？太好了！下一次搭飞机之前，我只要提早做好准备，发挥所学，那么转机的时候就不需要花大钱填饱肚子了 :)

写这篇文章的时候，刚好看到某网站指出大马的早餐多数卡路里／热量高。我想也是的。可是，早餐真的很重要耶！如果让我选择，我更愿意花多一点时间准备丰盛的早餐，吃得快乐自在，然后午餐和晚餐草草了事，那也不算罪过嘛。

之前朋友到家作客，我们的早餐。

Why I run

This week I got a really fun app called "Zombies, Run". Basically it includes a bunch of different narrative storylines where you are a runner who stumbles onto a base in the midst of the zombie apocalypse and to earn your keep you become a runner for them. You run to nearby communities and scavenge all the food and supplies you can find. The fun part of the app is that it measures your speed and every once in awhile you get close to a zombie and need to run 20% faster for a bit. It is ridiculously exciting and slightly dangerous too. The other morning I was running back from school and there was sheer ice from a recent melting and then freezing, my shoe had become untied, and there was no way that I could stop running or slow down to tie my shoe because zombies were chasing me. I got back home so out of breath and laughing in delight because I had made it safely. 

When you run you can be doing two things: running away from something or towards something. 

What I'm running away from

I want to run away from the lazy person that I sometimes am. I want to run from the belief that I can never accomplish anything difficult or interesting and that I'll never be good enough. I naturally like to take the easy way out and the interesting thing I found is that running can actually be the easy way out. It saves money on gas, it lengthens my lifespan, it lowers my risk factors for a whole swathe of diseases, it gives me great endorphins, it gives me more confidence, and it gives me time to meditate and think so that I am more prepared for the problems of the rest of my life. A little bit of difficulty of running makes my life much easier. 

What I am running towards

I run towards my future. Physically I often run towards home and my work and metaphorically too. I can think clearer when I run and so I am running towards solutions. I studied running form a lot and I found that the very best way to run is to run easy, light, and fast. Basically running as silently as you can naturally gives you good running form because you aren't hitting the ground so hard anymore. In  the summer I run barefoot and one time I was able to completely sneak up on a cat and get within a foot of her. When she turned and saw me it was like a cartoon how her legs went in all different directions and she scooted off faster than I believed possible. I think that's true of life too. We can get where we want to go a lot quicker if we're not stomping so hard to be heard and we are willing to do what's important regardless of whether we are noticed or not. 

I run because it's the closest thing I've found to human flight. When I lose myself in the rythm of my steps and the air through my hair and the world speeding by its almost as if I can fly. That's why I love running in sandals or barefoot with no extra clothing. Your senses come alive and it's like you can feel the world more fully. You can only hear the wind and the gentle tap tap of your footfalls. Running while its snowing is even more peaceful and surreal. The snow muffles almost all the sound and you are for once perfectly by yourself in the world. Able to think without any distractions and exist in the real world with the pure physicality of snowflakes hitting your face and icicles forming on your beard. There are few things that compare. 

I run most of all because it is fun. One of my heroes barefoot Ted talks about the idea of "golden miles". Those miles where you just enjoy every second of running them. They are what makes it all worth it. It is not always so enjoyable, but those few golden miles make all the rest of the miles worth it. 

That's why I run. 

冬天户外寻宝游戏

生长在温带国家的小孩，一般都体验过不同季节的户外寻宝游戏。我是在赤道长大的，一年四季如夏，而且我不记得小时候有玩过什么让人印象深刻的寻宝游戏。来到加拿大以后，接触不同的文化，才发现西方人对“玩”别有心得。甚至于，冷冷的冬天也可以在户外玩得不亦乐乎！

昨天晚上我和老公在为今天和孩子们的活动绞尽脑汁时，我突然灵机一动，想起八月份带队参加活动时接触过的游戏，于是上网搜寻，果然找到不少资料，便决定进行准备工作简单但效果非同凡响的 Winter Scavenger Hunt——冬天户外寻宝游戏。我事先将需要找到的“宝藏”列出在小白板上（是的，我写了Winter Scavenger ，忘记Hunt＝＝），再准备两个袋子，让出席的孩子们分成两组比赛，看谁先完成所有的任务。

这个户外寻宝游戏的特别之处在于：所有的宝藏，都能从大自然里获得，主办者不需要特别预备。我列出的18项任务包括：松针、叶子、石头、松果、动物足迹、冰柱、花朵、雪花、树皮；红色的东西、绿色的东西、褐色的东西、黄色的东西、黑色的东西、白色的东西、方形的东西、圆形的东西和三角形的东西。

老师上身！要求大家排排坐，聆听游戏说明。 

 找啊找，找啊找～

本来今天（准时）到我们家的小朋友只有三位，可是我们沿着民宅走，路上遇到一群在路边玩游戏的小男生，便把他们给召唤来，哈哈，最后有5男3女参与活动。（看吧，住在小社区的好处，没有坏人会拐带小朋友，我们叫他们，他们就跟着我们走，这信任度也超高的）大家都很认真仔细聆听游戏前的说明，迫不及待再倒数十秒后出发到附近寻找宝藏。

我们的集合地点选在民宅与民宅之间的小树林，本来打算在游乐场进行，但是太空旷，风吹会很冷啦。小朋友都很有创意，可以自由发挥的选项他们会捡起垃圾，或者是自行制造。比如说女生组一直找不到三角形的东西，在老公的提示下，他们就拿起一片叶子，撕成三角形状——耶，任务完成！

整个寻宝活动大概进行了15分钟，大伙儿就完成了任务。女生的专注力较高，动作也迅速；男生嘛，就容易分散注意力，没两下就跑去跟狗狗玩追追——果然，这个年纪的女生是比较成熟的。按照惯例，游戏结束后我们从背包里把小点心拿出来，随地而坐，就在树林里野餐了。跟着又到较空旷的地方玩了“追追”和“bang!”游戏，再一起唱歌跳舞，最后用祷告结束。

以后回国有机会，也要给马来西亚的小朋友们进行这样简单却意义非凡的游戏。除了可以亲近大自然，实地了解和接触生态环境，还能顺便帮忙捡垃圾哦 ;)

生活在小社区

我从小在新村长大，几万人口，其实真的不算多。中学毕业后到吉隆坡升学生活，一待就是7年多，虽然大城市交通发达，便捷便利，繁荣发达，但是高楼四处，人头攒动的景象有时也挺让人喘不过气的。如今我身处两千人不到的原住民部落，想跟大家分享一些特别的体验／感受。

婚礼不用派请柬

不管你有没有结过婚，印象／记忆中的婚礼大概就是要提前派发请柬，然后要认真思考该请哪些朋友吧？在我们这个小社区结婚的人，完全不会碰上这个难题。因为，只要复印几张“结婚启事”，张贴在1部落办公室&2部落超市的公告栏，就行了。神奇吧？

大概两个月前，我和老公还有学生们去露营几天，回到学校时是下午五点，来接送孩子的家长热情地邀请我们出席社区内某户人家的婚宴，我不好意思地说“可是我们不认识他们啊！” 对方赶紧劝我们别这么见外，因为婚宴是open的，public的，谁都可以出席～但当时我们又累又臭，便决定作罢。

今天又有一个婚宴（怎么知道？昨天在超市公告栏看到的！），我非常想去感受，无奈老公赶着做教学计划，我又不好意思一个人厚脸皮去，所以又错过了。下次，下次一定要去一次自己不认识的新郎新娘的婚宴（然后再把经历分享出来） ;)

共车计划非常盛行

我们这个部落，距离最靠近的市镇要一个小时，距离最靠近的城市要三个小时半车程。几乎每一天，都可以看见在面子书群组里有人发帖询问“明天有人要去 La Ronge吗？”或“我这个周末去Prince Albert，车里还有三个空位，有意同行请联络……”

你知道的，社区人数就那么多，来来去去不就是远亲或朋友的朋友，所以大家才不会因为觉得陌生觉得别扭而错过省钱的机会。加上这里平时可是没有德士和巴士出没的，若急需出门身边又没人可以伸出援手，自然就得靠小社区的暖力量了 :)

至于在社区内，司机们对步行的人也都非常怜悯。我和老公背着重重的行李步行去学校准备参加露营那一次，有个不认识的女生骑着ATV，潇洒地在我们身边停下，要免费送我们一程。虽然老公很有性格地拒绝了，我却毫不犹疑地带着背包跳上车，省下好多好多功夫，却连对方的名字都不记得。回程时，也有家长主动载送到家门口哦。

用不到的可以便宜卖也可以免费送

Stanley Mission部落有两个面子书群组，一个是专门留言发通告启事的，另一个是买卖的。首先，你要知道这里不是大都会，没有太多消费选择，很多经济情况不太乐观的原住民也不会常常出门逛街购物，所以大家身上穿的家里用的基本上就是1在镇上仅有的超市购得&2向其他人买二手货。

我常觉得生活在这里有种生活在物物交换年代的错觉。虽然真正物物交换的应该没几个，但是我看见很多人都会发帖，把自己用不着的物品便宜卖出，甚至是免费送出。当中最常亮相的包括小孩子的衣服鞋子、手机外壳、厨房用品和家具等。

最近我看见一则征求冬装的启事。大意就是为社区内较贫穷的家庭募集二手寒衣、外套、帽子、手套、靴子……有意者可以拨电话让相关负责人到府上，或亲自将捐出的物品拿到部落的诊所。很不巧，诊所与我们家是三分钟步行距离。于是，我和老公也日行一善，打包了两大袋的冬装，今天就送去诊所了 :) 

12月1号当天，所有被捐赠出的冬装将一一摆放在民众会堂，供有需要的居民任意领取。

社区就是你我的家

记得我们刚搬来不久，因为要到朋友家一趟，所以晚上九点我们两人走在无人的街头——不对，是自以为无人的街头，因为我们惊讶地发现不远处有五个小朋友在玩耍。你可以想像吗？那是没有路灯，没娱乐活动，没什么人烟的晚上九点，一群小孩没有大人的陪伴，在街头溜达。

我后来才慢慢了解到，原来在这个原住民部落里，社区就是你我的家。这里的房子，没有篱笆围绕，没有保全系统。这里的父母，一般都让孩子在外头自行活动，孩子身上没有手机，父母不会连环call，孩子不用回家交代什么。反正，夜深了（这里指的是晚上10点多），倦鸟就知返了。

关于这点，我觉得最大的因素还是在于社区居民之间的相互信任。 居民彼此多少有点认识，谁家的孩子在街头玩，大伙儿路过都会帮忙监视。父母不怕孩子被拐带（外人只要一进来部落一眼就被看出来了），也不怕孩子离家出走（部落就像与世隔绝般，只靠双脚能走去哪里啊？），真的没有什么危险可言。

我之前常会觉得生活在这么小的社区很闷很无聊，可是最近“顿悟”，突然间发现有太多的点点面面值得观察、思考和分享。慢慢的，我也开始觉得自己生活的地方，好可爱啊！^_^

What things make life richer?

How then should we live?

I remember reading that title of a book a lot as a kid. It had a prominent place in my parents collection of books in our basement where we used to play. It seemed mysterious because most books had a title that gave a definitive answer to some problem. This was one of the few books that just asked a good question. 

I've been finishing up my unit planning and it is really interesting how that actually has made me think a lot about what is actually of importance in life. I get to choose how my class will use hundreds and hundreds of hours of their time. I honestly really love school, especially university, but it wasn't always that way. I often thought school was fairly boring and there were huge amounts of time when there wasn't much to do. If I get to lead the class in what we will do, then the deeper question is what then shall we do? Of what types of activities have the kind of importance that they can depeen and enrich my students lives? On top of that, how can I make those types of activities relevant enough that my students will enjoy them, engage in them, and let down their guards enough so that they can have their life changed? In light of all this the question running through my head is now 

How then should I teach?

Lesson planning is at its center entirely philosophical. I find that I'm constantly challenging a lot of the assumptions that I grew up with about education, I'm challenging the assumptions about what I learned about education in University, and then I'm challenging my own conclusions! Haha, and then the worst of it is that when it comes down to actually teaching I generally just do exactly whatever my high schools teachers did with me. I'm slowly working on it, but a lot of the practices that they did were there for pretty good reasons. It reminds me of Chesterton talking about young radicals who want to tear down the old order and just set everything free. 

In the matter of reforming things, as distinct from deforming them, there is one plain and simple principle; a principle which will probably be called a paradox. There exists in such a case a certain institution or law; let us say, for the sake of simplicity, a fence or gate erected across a road. The more modern type of reformer goes gaily up to it and says, “I don’t see the use of this; let us clear it away.” To which the more intelligent type of reformer will do well to answer: “If you don’t see the use of it, I certainly won’t let you clear it away. Go away and think. Then, when you can come back and tell me that you do see the use of it, I may allow you to destroy it.

I laugh at my own enthusiasm to do away with all sorts of things that were a staple of education in the past. Some of the things like homework, and worksheets have been shown to have extremely little value until students are much older. Other things like sitting in rows, waiting until the class is silent and so on, I have found to be very helpful and I brought them back after thinking they were outdated as well. Another thing that many have tried to do away with is rote memory. We want students to just explore ideas and not worry so much about trying to memorize specific facts. However I think most of that thinking comes from people who have gotten so good at memorizing naturally that they forget it is a learned skill. 

I remember in grade 3 I was in the Sunday school class of a man named John Tyler. He was an engineer and a great guy. He had us write down in our bibles "what is not memorized, cannot be utilized". Haha, it is a very engineer type thing to say. But I remember reading that quote over and over again growing up. It was probably one of the reasons I joined bible quizzing in grade 7 and ended up memorizing whole books of the bible. Being able to memorize well helped me a lot with school and life in general. It is a lot easier to learn to play instruments when you can memorize the notes on a scale and on a fretboard. It is easier to pick up a new language when you know how to learn vocabulary. It prepared me for an interesting life. 

Now that I am a teacher I put that quote up on the back wall of our classroom. I try to make lots of time for my class to memorize the multiplication table, key points in history simply for them to have something to compare other dates to, we are going to start to memorize a couple shorter poems too. If they ask "what are we going to use this for?" I can give them a lifetime of examples of the cool different ways that memorization helped make my life easier and more full. I think out of all things people might want to get rid of in the education system it should be the last to go. 

美好的星期天（下）——烛光纪念

结束了和小朋友们的郊游后，我们打算在路口分道扬镳，可是却远远看见有一群人聚集在加油站商店外，由外界通往部落的唯一一条陆路旁。小朋友们跟我们说再见以后很快就跑了过去，我却还不知道发生了什么事。老公说，那是“Light Vigil”——烛光纪念。

原来那个周末部落里有位年迈的退休老师因罹患癌症过世，为了表示纪念和尊重，大伙儿会准备很多很多的蜡烛（装在各类瓶子里，方便拿取也不怕风吹容易熄灭），沿路摆放。人们的手上也会拿着蜡烛，静待在路边，等待死者与家属们的车辆经过。

因为老公也是部落里的老师，又有认识的朋友主动把蜡烛递给我们，加上我们不曾参与过这样的活动，所以我们便决定在冷飕飕的天气里多待一会儿感受部落的传统。

站在我身旁的是老公班上的教学助理，她是土生土长的原住民，几乎能叫出所有人的名字。她说，这样的传统是特别为与癌症抗争失败的人而沿袭下来的，毕竟罹患癌症对死者和家属本身都是很不容易的，所以这样一点点的心意希望能让他们感受部落的关爱与支持。

不过有时也有例外。她说去年有个刚高中毕业的女生过世（她没说原因是什么，不过很肯定不是自杀），因为生前活泼好动，广受欢迎，她离开的消息让大家都很难过。烛光纪念仪式的那一天，蜡烛和出席的人排满了一整条马路，一直延伸到部落里去，场面非常壮观。

我们在路边等待，其中一位负责人不时用电话和家属联系，确定车子大队抵达的时间。有一群部落里的乐手，拿着类似手鼓的传统乐器，站在队伍的最前面。当远远看见车辆出现在视线时，他们开始敲击，并用族语高唱民谣。唱些什么，我不知道，但是那样宏亮的歌声传遍空旷的山林，是难以形容的震撼。

就像是，欢送灵魂脱离苦痛，有种说不出的凄美。

大队经过时我在内心稍微计算，至少有四十多辆车子，那是很庞大的数字。这些司机乘客们通过这条道路，一路开车前往部落里的教堂（与我们家仅三分钟步行距离），在那儿进行安息仪式。过程中我很想将鼓手、歌声和车子大队拍下来，但想想自己对部落而言是外人，又是第一次参与烛光纪念，还是不要贸贸然行动，惹怒伤心的人就不好了。

顽皮的小朋友们在仪式进行时都是一副严肃的表情，我想年纪小小的他们大概也都知道这小小的举动看似简单却很伟大、意义深远。我偷偷瞄了几眼车内的人，好多都是一脸感动，或微微点头或浅浅微笑。

当最后一辆车子离开视线后，大伙儿吹熄蜡烛，快手快脚收拾干净，纷纷跳上各自的车子前往教堂。我们两个也手牵手踏上归途，觉得自己仿佛生活在另一个世界——如此纯真美好。

How to motivate students and people in general

Tonight I came home curious. 

I had a pretty fun day in the classroom and lots of learning happened. But when it came to plain old work, doing projects that they weren't too excited about, there was no motivation almost at all and everything became a distraction and almost nothing got done. So I got to thinking because as usual as a new teacher I was in above my head and not sure what to do. A wasted half hour isn't a big deal in the grand scheme of the Universe especially because we were having fun and chatting about all sorts of things. But it got me thinking, as the year progresses, how can I motivate my class to do the hard work of learning?

I have been falling in love with podcasts recently, especially with a bunch of 9 hour drives each way back and forth from Regina. So the first place I looked was for a good teaching podcast that might have some good advice. I found "The cult of Pedagogy" and listened to episode 37 about how to motivate your students. She had 5 main questions to ask yourself about areas that can really increase student motivation. Here are the notes I took. 

Motivation 

1. Good relationships provide safety for students to take risks. Lack of connection makes them less likely to try. Be aware of the value of relationships. Take active steps to get to know them. "You've got to connect" book and "the best kept teaching secret" about dialogue journals. Just chat two minutes a week with each student about something other than school. Keep track of it. 

2. How much choice do your students actually have? Providing choice is a major factor in motivation. Long term authentic creative projects are a lot easier to give choice in. 

3. Are you relying heavily on carrots and sticks? Rewards and punishments to motivate students. Extrinsic reinforcement can be motivating for an easy task, but for tasks that require creativity and complex thought it actually reduces motivation. Vs trying it just because it is interesting and challenging. We need to truly, deeply motivate them. Try to focus on its inherent interest and value as a challenge. "The first ten are easy and I want to see how many of you can conquer the challenge of the last two. They are a lot tougher. They will be challenge but I believe you have what it takes."

4. Do your words contribute to a growth or fixed mindset? Students are motivated to continue at a challenging task if they believe they can get better at it. Don't ever tell them they are smart. Tell them specific moments they've worked hard. Focus on things they can control. Don't tell them they are a good writer.

5. What are you doing to make your content relevant to students lives? When they believe they are doing something authentic and meaningful and how it can help them they will be more motivated. 1. Plan it and then say it, explain why an issue is relevant today. Be explicit. 2. Add in more reflection, ask them how is it relevant? Lower performing students do better. 3. Design tasks that end with a public product. It naturally motivates students to work harder. 

I found it sobering. A few of them like number four I think I was doing pretty well on. But others I realized I was way off and it was likely a contributor to some unmotivated students. Obviously students are also fully responsible for their own motivation level and choosing how they want to interact with the classroom environment, but the teacher definitely plays an important role as well. It also reminded me of what motivates me. I love choosing what I want to do and what I want to learn and then really going for it. When someone is really controlling about what I do and learn I automatically lose respect for them and am much less likely to listen to what they would have me do. If a professor or teacher cares about me as a person I will work way harder in their class. So I saw the validity right away in what she was saying. I think my biggest flaws as a teacher are I just want to jump in way too fast and solve everything for everyone, and sometimes I care more about the content than about the students. So just talking to each student 2 minutes a week about something random other than school seems like a really doable and helpful goal and first place to start. 

These same principles can work in our own lives too. How good of a relationship do we have with ourself? Do we like to spend time alone with ourselves? Do we laugh at our own jokes? If we can build our relationship with ourself we are more likely to be motivated to learn and improve ourselves. How do we lead ourselves? Do we use sheer grit and willpower to force ourselves to do something or do we give ourselves lots of good choices and then pick the best one? One option is a lot more sustainable in the long run. 

These principles can also help others. I mean, throughout history huge wars were fought simply for the cause of freedom. So being able to have a choice is a very motivating factor. To do anything we are also much more likely to do it for the people we love and who respect us back. So if you want to be influential, and motivate others the best things you can do is be someone who loves authentically and gets to know people, give people freedom, or at least multiple good choices that they can choose from, give them opportunities for their own intrinsic gain and not any external punishments or rewards, and finally speak to people about what is important to them. We may have just seen how important that is in this last election. 

Anyways, those are some of the things I have been pondering as I try to help my class develop their own intrinsic motivation, maybe it will be helpful to you as well. 

The most worthwhile thing in life...

This weekend Jetaime and I have been at the November Retreat at the Regina Apostolic Church. It has been beautiful and incredible. Two nights ago Tyler Gray was leading worship and he said "Listen, I'm not all that much older than you guys. In all my years on this earth I can honestly say there is no more worthwhile thing than the presence of God. Nothing tastes sweeter, nothing satisfies more, nothing will quench the thirst in your heart like the presence of God." As he was saying that the hunger level in the room for the presence of God rose and God just met the desire of all our hearts. Wave after wave of God's presence poured out over us. So many felt their burdens lift off their shoulders and others just felt joy and peace more than they ever had before. I stood there with my hands raised remembering all that God has done in my life. 

When I was fairly young we would go to bible quizzing meets with hundreds of other youths who were excited about God and memorizing his word. Some of those times in worship the presence of God was so sweet and it softened my heart and gave me so much peace. That was the first main time I ever tasted the goodness of God and I knew there was nothing I wanted more in my life. At that time I didn't know too much about God and so I didn't know how to enjoy God's presence day to day. But the times when I joined with other believers in worship I was able to get glimpses and amazing tastes of what it was like. 

Years later I started reading a book by John Crowder called "Mystical Union" where he challenged all of my major beliefs and God changed my life through that book. The main idea is that when Jesus died on the cross and yelled out "It is finished" that he meant it. We no longer need to earn God's favour. We no longer need our efforts at righteousness to please God. He is already pleased with us! That means that Christ in us gives us the freedom to enjoy the goodness and presence of God every single day, every single moment. Christ saved us from the power of sin and death and now there is absolutely nothing stopping us from complete and full union with Christ every moment of every day. That truth is lifechanging. 

I began to believe that Christ was already in me and I no longer need to enter into his presence. I am already there. I can enjoy him as much while running to work as I can in a boring conversation or a worship service. Location does not matter at all. I don't need to wait until I am surrounded by people hungry for His presence. I can enjoy God's presence everywhere because of the work Christ already accomplished. He removed every dividing wall between us. Praise God!! 

Being a first year teacher can be draining sometimes. It can be frustrating, and there are times I have wanted to throw in the towel. But when the presence of God melts away my anxieties and frustrations I know that everything will be alright. Nothing can separate me from the love of God. It changes everything, and I can agree with Tyler that it is absolutely the most worthwhile thing in life. 

部落里的万圣节2——学校也疯狂

老公任职的中学每逢佳节必大肆庆祝，这对我而言是很新奇的事。万圣节前的周末因为朋友到访，我们尽地主之宜带他到学校逛逛，当时才发现学校上上下下都充满了浓浓的万圣节气息。

从学校入口，图书馆外的墙壁，各个教室的大门到布告栏等，都贴满了诡异又有趣的图案。南瓜灯、妖魔鬼怪、月光下的枯树、人体骨架、稻草人……应有尽有。布置算不上美轮美奂——毕竟都是学生的作品，自己拼拼凑凑剪剪贴贴涂颜色，要登大雅之堂有点难度，但是也因为看得出大家为这个节日付出的时间和精力。这点，就让我敬佩不已。

不仅如此，在10月31日万圣节当天，老师和学生们基本上是不上课的。早上有大概三个小时的时间让班上进行派对，每一班有50块加币的经费购买食物和饮料，大伙儿一起吃吃喝喝、玩游戏、看电影。另外，学校也给每一班买了一个大南瓜（至少要加币20多块啊），学生们可以任意进行雕刻，最后呈交上去，校方再遴选出雕刻得最好的三个南瓜——获奖班级有钱拿哦！

 （老公课室里的大蜘蛛！）

午餐后师生聚集在礼堂，做出最有创意最特别最应景的万圣节妆扮的人会被推选出来，进入四个不同组别参赛（最佳情侣装扮、最搞笑装扮、最可怕装扮、最漂亮装扮），再由三位评审评选出各组前三甲。优胜者同样获得奖金。这时，你就会发现大家真的卯足全力，丝毫没有在管面子这回事。哈哈，我当时人没在现场，但是老公回家跟我详细描述，感觉就是high翻天！

各班级的老师也准备了不同游戏，同学们可以一班接着一班去玩游戏。总之整个校园欢笑十足，师生同乐 :)

镇上唯一的餐厅也很配合节日进行布置哦！